Few poems.

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You want to catch me while you can

But you were never part of the plan

Stay away, you cant stop me now

It’s your own fault, you let me down

You filled my head with all these lies

Tortured me and watched me cry

I begged you not to mess with my head

So you tore out my heart and ripped it to shreds

Now it’s far too late to apologise

You had your chance to save my life

All the things you wish you’d said

They don’t matter now I’m dead

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As I lay dying, You’ll see I’m crying,

My heart is empty through all the lying,

I’d still be alive, learning to survive,

If it weren’t for lack of trying.

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I never knew I could feel so small,

As I stand atop this building and prepare to fall,

The time has come for me to die,

I swallow my tears and say goodbye,

I strongly advise you to do the same,

You will never see me alive again,

For I have taken that fatal step,

Falling steadily towards my death,

The sky appears to turn to black,

As the concrete pavement meets my back,

My soul is gone, it feels no pain,

She is free to wander in the pourng rain.

Ok so things have changed. I feel less shit about myself. I may be starting to get back in sync with my friends. I hope so anyway. New people too. Which is not as awkward as it seems, surprisingly. My 18th is coming up, not sure wether or not to look forward to it or not. My birthdays haven't exactly been great in the past. Well they were ok when I was with friends. Family ruined it. So this year, no family on my bday. Just drinking, smoking (weed), possibly getting a tattoo, depending on how much money Dad leaves for me in the morning. I have stopped eating quite a bit, except when I have munchies, then it's impossible to resist Doritos. I hate being in Nottingham most of the time, cuz I sit and talk to myself like a crazy person. I miss having a best friend. I miss my dog. I miss my sister. I miss hugs, and being a prat with people. God help me I even miss Rawlins. Meh. Mmf has become a big part of my life again (shush don't tell anyone), simply because it's the only thing to do that takes my mind off the shittyness of the world.

But ho-hum, life goes on.