Im not quite sure what to say.. :)

So
I discovered Lauren did it in the morning because she fell asleep before she got a chance to do it in the night. So I did too. But I got worried because one of them was very deep and Lauren said I might need stitches, even after shed put paper stitches on. I went to medical and ended up telling Jenny, which I never intended to do. But she had a look and cleaned the cuts and bandaged me and I texted Lauren and she came too and she got hers cleaned up too and bandaged. And I needed to smoke so I went out and got us marshmallows and chocolate too. And then Mrs Gordon (who I actually fucking hate) came to have a chat with me which resulted in me crying and her saying my mum needed to know and that basically if I didnt tell her tonight shed have to tell her tomorrow. Then we had to go so we went and I saw Sarah and I told her what Id done to my face and arms and about nearly being carted off to the Walk In Centre for stitches and medical and Lauren and she even said maybe its not a good idea for Lauren and me to be together but to be honest I think if we really really try, we can fight it together and beat it. I dont want something like that ruining my life and future. I want a future. Fuck it, I want a future with Lauren, and I am not going to let anything or anyone mess that up.
Anyway. Sarah said it would be good for my mum to know, because shed want to know about it. And I decided Id tell her. And Lauren would be there too because she was coming round so she would be there for me.
So we went back to medical 10 minutes efore the ed of the day. Lauren was rebandaged and theres a possibility we may be going to see the school nurse. Mrs Gordon wants to talk to me tomorrow about how it went with my mum. And I think Jenny wants to check them again.
And then we went home. And played on the Wii. And had snuggles. And kisses. And crumpets. And then when my mum came home, I told her. And it was fucking fine. She didnt cry or hug me a lot or anything. I just told her I got angry with stuff sometimes. I didnt tell her I cut my face, were sticking to the "I fell in a bush story here". But I showed her my arms and my hands and my tummy. And its all fine. And I feel a whole lot better about it. And tonight, for the first time in months, Im sleeping without my armwarmers, jacket, gloves on. And it feels fucking wonderful :)
Lauren is going to put paper stitches and tape on the deep one tomorrow and shes finally going to do my plait again, otherwise Im going to eat her right ear. And I feel closer to her aftertoday in medical I think. They were nice, the staff members who came to talk to us. Not Mrs G though. Shes horrible. But Bev and Maxine definitely. Maxine was shocked. I think I was too.
Today was good. Despite everything. Im not hiding anymore. And its ok. And Im ok. And I love Lauren more than ever. And she loves me. And I think life might actually turn out reasonably ok now :)