hmmf. kinda fucked it. i blame my phone
if id got the texts in the night when they were sent i think i prolly woulda been ok. grr
i cant be bothered to do it right now but i will before i go to sleep. meh. then im stopping. i really want to. im sick of it now. im sure i dont want this.
im sure i want to be happy and i want Lauren to be happy too.
i just feel bad cuz shes gonna do it now and i dont want her to. if i hadnt have done it she prolly wouldnt be doing it. grr.