Hm. Bad day I think. I just dont get it. What am I doing wrong that people wont hang out with me for? Im trying my best Im nice to everyone unless they piss me off..Its not like I dont want to hang out with people Im just scared to ask them in case they say no..Its not like Id say no. Id give anything to have real friends. If someone asked me Id smile and do it. Even Lauren doesnt seem to want me. Shes not showing up online but comments on facebook. Just makes me think shes avoiding me. I cant blame her. Im not exactly happy these days. I know I get upset easily but it doesnt mean its over nothing, its stuff that actually upsets me. I wish shed include me in something. If someone made plans with me Id ask her to come along.
I acually felt better when I didnt have anyone. There was none of this stuff then. Nothing to miss. Now Ive had a bit of it I just want a little more every now and again..And it pisses me off. The people Id like to hang out with just want to hang round with Lauren. I feel as lonely as I ever was. Part of me wishes I was still alone. But I cant leave Lauren..I wish I could just let go of everything. No I dont..I like having people around I suppose..I just wish people would spend more time with me. I wanna hang round with Jonno too but I cant just invite myself. Fat chance shell ask me either. And I dont even know whats happening at the weekend so idk if I need to take anything to school tomorrow and Lauren isnt online to talk about it with and I cant stop fucking crying.