Idk why I feel so crappy. I hate not knowing. I hate thinking what if.

Love is the most unexplainable emotion around. There is no real definition for it. Everyones experiences are different.
I think when you care so much about someone, youd go to hell and back for them, kill, torture or die for them, thats love. When you actually know youd die without them and cant imagine life without them, youre in love.
When Im with you, and you have that smile on your face, and your eyes light up, and I realise this is what I wanted all along, this is what Id do anything to hold onto, I know Im in love.


"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

I want someone to say yes
-or-
I want to be the one to say yes.
I want someone to follow wherever I go.
I want someone to know when I need cheering up.
I want something thats forever, no strings attached.

Good stuff.
Lauren is coming over tomorrow.
20 days.
I painted stuff.
I am currently speaking to Lauren.

Bad stuff.
mums being a bitch again.
Massive all-day-long urge.
I want cake and there is no cake.
I am single. I think.
I am cold.
I am lonely.
I want to write a poem but I cant fucken think.

Let this prove that there are more bad things than good therefore providing reason for my current meh-ness.

I want to be someones favourite
I want to be someones "the one"
I want someone to drop everything and come see me when Im sad
I want someone to want to call or come round to see me everyday just to ask how Im doing
I want someone to open up an IM conversation as soon as they see Im online.
I want someone to love me most
I want someone to be able to make me laugh so hard I cry
I want someone to miss me when I go
I want someone to grin like an idiot when I come back
I want someone I love to love me too.

Poem

You won't need to say a word
It doesn't always have to be heard
Because I can see it in your face
Every struggle, and every race
You know you'll either win or lose
Happiness or scar tissue

But I'm proud of you, babe
We both know you won today

Who's to say what comes tomorrow
Will you get joy or maybe sorrow?
It won't matter, my love, either way
I'll do what I can to keep you safe
You're the reason I'm no longer bleeding
You won my heart, I'll help you win your freedom

xxx

I am very happy.
Considering it is nearly christmas.

Good things ~
There is tobacco everywhere.
Lauren is staying tomorrow.
My dads getting married.
I has comfy bed at the minute.
The snow is pretty.
9 days so far.
Lauren is ignoring the urges.
I have an epic grandad.
There will be chicken tomorrow.

Bad things ~
Christmas ehhhh.
Room messy.
Mum.

Let this prove that there are more good things than bad things, therefore I have no current reason to be sad.
Rawr.